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Petition Home Page
Below are links to church history and
personal stories of those who have experienced the pain that
comes from endeavoring to change their sexual orientation in
order to comply with church teachings and policy.
Personal stories,
Rocky, Drew, Val & Ray
Gay & Lesbian Member Suicide List
We Can Change History For Gay LDS
Lifetime
Celibacy or Excommunication
Policy
The Etiology of
Homosexuality from Authoritative Latter-day Saint Perspectives,
1879-2006
A Revised
History of Homosexuality & Mormonism, 1840-1980
Chronology Of Mormon / LDS Involvement In Same-Sex Marriage Politics
Mormons for Marriage
supports marriage equality for all, and stands in respectful
opposition to California Proposition 8.
Mormon Politics & Member Opinion
ABC News- Gay Mormons Face Excommunication
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Foundation for
Reconciliation
Dreadfully Unhappy
My
Name is Robin Lee Johnson, and I was born in Bowling Green,
Kentucky. 5 months later my family moved to California. I grew up in
CA for a total of 34 years. When I was 4 years old, I realized I
liked Boys. I did not understand the concept of being Gay at that
early age, I just knew that I was a boy, and that I wanted to kiss,
hold hands and hug other boys. My sexual orientation caused me to
masturbate a lot. I also had several sexual experiences with other
boys as a child. I was a member of record in the LDS Church since I
was a baby. From age 10 and upwards I was Molested several times
repeatedly by men and when I was 15 I was raped. I was Baptized into
the Mormon Church in 1972 when I was 10 years old. I never had an
interest in Girls, in fact, the thought of being intimate with a
girl, repulsed me. I come from an all Mormon home with my 3 sisters
and I being 3rd generation LDS. However, mine was not a typical
Mormon home. We were quite dysfunctional, yelling, screaming cussing
were all common occurrences in our home. My Father Beat us severely
and never talked to us. My sisters would have to stay home from
school, because my Mother was afraid she would be turned in for
child abuse. (i. e. Their legs were all bloody and tore up. I would
have to wear pants to cover my legs. During my last part of High
School I was moved to a Mormon Foster Home for 10 months. Then the
father of that foster home molested me several times.
I certainly had gay feelings but this guy
was not my type at all. He kept forcing himself on me and he told me
that he would be Homosexual if it were not for the Church. I
eventually told my Bishop what was going on, and I was immediately
moved to another Mormon Foster Home for 6 months. Later on I went to
a final Mormon Foster Home for 6 months right up until my Mission
started. While on my mission I had 13 Companions and luckily I was
only attracted to one of them. This one that I liked was a real Hot
Babe. He was so adorable. However, I disciplined myself and
concentrated on "The Work" at hand. Attracted or not, I fell in Love
with every companion that I had, and I balled like a baby at every
transfer day. Despite having a good, but difficult mission, I was
made to leave a few months early because of Clinical Depression.
Before my mission I worked as Head Custodian at the LDS Stake
Center. When I was released from my mission, I continued to work at
2 different LDS Meetinghouses. Then I started doing that kind of
work at the Mormon Oakland Temple. After 9 months at the Temple I
suddenly quit, because of depression. My depression came from being
doomed to Celibacy because I was Gay. I was so unhappy I could not
stand it. I had maintained my membership in the LDS Church in good
standing until i was 27 years old. Then I finally came out of the
proverbial closet. In the next 4 years I had over 450 sexual
encounters with approximately 123 Different Male Lovers. I even had
a Drag Queen for a live in boyfriend. It was like I was trying to
make up for all the years that I had suppressed my feelings. After
these 4 years I became fed up with all the booze and drugs that so
many Gay Mormons turn to because the LDS Church makes them feel
guilty for being gay. Also the Catholics and Protestants are good
with the guilt as well, not to mention the Jewish community, During
those four years that I was sexually promiscuous I had fallen out of
the Church. So when I once again withdrew from the Gay Community I
began my repentance Process and I began attending The LDS Church
again. After 6 months of the repentance Process I began to feel that
I needed further help, so I went to My former Bishop, who was now My
Stake President. A disciplinary court was held and soon I was
Excommunicated From the Church, One Interesting note was, that My
Stake Pres. who had been counseling me, monthly for 17 years, He did
not want to Excom. Me, but just Dis-fellowship Me. But The other 14
Men in that room Unanimously voted for Excom. I also asked to be
Excom. and during the Court, My Stake Pres. told me to tell the
brethren why I wanted to be Excom. so as to create sympathy for me,
however, it did not work. I Know that some people say that there
Excom. was horrible, but mine was not. After I was brought in and
rendered the verdict, all 15 men stood on there feet and I went
around that semi-circle and got a big and sincere hug from every one
of them. I have had very few moments in my life that I have felt so
loved, I know that It sounds strange but I truly felt Love from each
of those men. Afterward I drove my Mustang across town and parked on
a vacant street. Then I cried my eyes out. By the way I was homeless
that day and was living out of my car. I did not tell my Bishop
because I felt rejected by the LDS Church in General. I have spent 4
years and 1 month Homeless and even when the Church knew about it,
they did not help me. When I visited Salt Lake City for 5 months
while I was Homeless, the President of Temple Square said to me, Who
is your Bishop, He should be ashamed of Himself, allowing you to be
homeless. Of course, this man did not know that I was a Homosexual.
3 1/2 years after my Excom. I was granted Re-baptism. 30 days before
my Baptism I got married to a woman. I loved my wife, she was my
best Friend. She was a Closet Lesbian and she liked Gay men. She was
20 years and 5 months older than me. I married her because she was
my closest friend. She was Black and Obese. I am white as they come.
I was not attracted to her and sexual intercourse we had only a few
times in over 9 years of marriage. She did not like to have sex with
me either, She used to say to me" You Sure have a lot of 'meat' down
there, It is a shame that I don't like men." During My 9 years with
my wife I was completely Faithful. My wife died 3 1/2 years ago and
I have been Celibate all this time. From early 1996 to 2009 I have
been 100% activve in the LDS Church and I have been with no one
except my wife. I was completely Active in The LDS Church The entire
time that I was Excom. (3 1/2 years). Despite This Fact, My
blessings have been withheld from me for 12 years now. The same
amount of years that I have now lived in Oklahoma. I have to say
this about Oklahoma, there are so many Rednecks in and out of the
Church, here in this state and they all hate, hate, hate, Queers,
Fagots and Homo's. I am now 48 years old and Dreadfully Unhappy. The
Church no longer brings me happiness like it used too. I simply have
been celibate too long. I not only love males but I Love to Love
males. It is a major part of me that I have suppressed so long. And
It has taken its toll on me. I have attempted Suicide 23 times (I'm
not very good at it). My Mental Diagnosis is: Bi-Polar; Affective
Disorder; Chronic Depression; Suicidal Tendencieses; Temporal Lobe
Epilepsy; Schizo-Affective Disorder; Anxiety Disorder; Schizo-Type
Personality Disorder; Obsessiveve Compulsive Disorder; Auditory
Hallucinations; Chronic Insomnia; Decreased Anger Control Syndrome;
Rage; Racing Thoughts; Disorderly Thoughts; Cognitive Disorder. I
have suffered with these Mental Anguishes for 25 years now, Well, so
much for being a Gay Mormon. By The way, I just adore Gay Males, but
I do not have much use for Straight Men. Lots of Love, and Peace to
all. -ROBIN, September, 2009.
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Please take time to read this petition, as well as read the stories and
links provided, and pass this information on to your friends and
link to us if you have a website or blog.
By
doing so, you will be sending a message to the leaders of the Church
of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that it is time for
reconciliation between the Church and its gay and lesbian members.
More importantly, you will be showing support for those who have
been hurt by Church policies and practices because of their sexual
orientation.
"Gay, lesbian and bisexual teens and
young adults have one of the highest rates of suicide attempts — and
some other health and mental health problems, including substance
abuse. A new study suggests that parental acceptance, and even
neutrality, with regard to a child's sexual orientation could have a
big impact in reducing this rate."-NPR, All
Things Considered, December 29, 2008
"I
implore the students at BYU to re-assess their homophobic feelings,"
wrote Stuart Matis in The Daily Universe
shortly before
committing suicide. "Seek to understand first before you make
comments. We have the same needs as you. We desire to love and be
loved. We desire to live our lives with happiness. We are not a
threat to you or your families."
"Utah’s overall suicide rate is the 10th highest in the nation.
Unfortunately, it is the leading cause of death for Utah males ages
15 to 19, who die at a rate nearly double the national average. It
is the leading cause of death for adolescent males in Utah."-KUED.org
Voices of Hope Discussion Guide
"Thank
you,
Carol Lynn Pearson,
for reminding us that the task of any religion is to teach us whom
we're required to love, not whom we're entitled to hate." - Rabbi
Harold Kushner
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